We spent two summers together
I remember seeing the scars on your tights and wanting to say something but i seen your smile shining so bring and I didn’t want to remind you of a time when you didn’t love yourself enough .
I remember how cold your hands always were when I touched them and no amount of heat would warm them up and i remember you used to say it was because your heart is cold and you always laughed but I could see the emptiness in your eyes that i desperately wanted to fill .
I remember how small you got with every month and all your jeans were too big and I’ve seen you secretly standing in front of the mirror grabbing your skin with tears in your eyes and after a while I got scared to hug you because i thought I would break you in half .
I remember how your skin got so pale white that it matched the colour of the snow and your cheekbones got sharp like the frozen ice and your eyes were so large and wild like the harsh wind.
I remember how you stopped speaking for a week , I thought you were mad and it was over but then you crawled onto my lap and fell asleep in my arms and When I heard you breathing i knew it wasn’t the end and with every gently breath you took my heart swelled with all the love I had for you .
I remember how you stopped wearing shorts and tank tops and replaced them with jeans and big hoodies and you barely touched the food i always made us for dinner and when you did you would sit in the bathroom for hours after and I wanted to go to you and hug you and kiss you I wanted to give you all the love I had for you because i thought it would help you carry on . But instead i just sat in the kitchen alone and finished my meal .
For us there was no Autumn
We spent two Summers together and i never did fill that emptiness in your eyes .